Thoughts. I write to understand myself. I write to stay sane–at least relatively sane. Where have I been all this while? In a whirlwind of time, I know. Its crazy how this whirlwind is always blowing and just picks up speed as it goes. I love windstorms and I love the thought of being “gone with the wind” not realizing that I am almost always gone with this crazy, maddening wind and I really can’t stand it. I wish I could step out of this insanity. I wish I could get caught up into God’s reality, to see him as he is–to see the earth as it is–to enter into what Dr. Moore calls “the sanity of God.” It’s the reality of God coming alive in my mind that I’m after. It’s the truth of how it all works that I long to understand. I don’t like being like the Jews of Judah–a refusing generation. And I don’t want to be like the burning remnant either. I want to be the regenerating generation that the root of holiness springs up out of. But perhaps in order to become fertile ground we have to go though a process–the Israelites did in the wilderness. The first generation of Exodites were refusers and it wasn’t until they were weeded out that they got to enter into their promises.
Jesus and Holy Spirit and Papa!
Weed me out–every bit of me that refuses to hear and see and understand you. Weed out of me the idolatrous who raises “bloody hands” to a god that doesn’t exist. Consecrate me and make me holy–that I would lift up holy hands to you only. My heart burns and longs for you and I want to yearn for you in a deeper way! I want to long for you the way you long for me Jesus!
Papa, teach yourself to me.
